Candidate style makeover
by WonkoKevin
If the presidential race were a TV reality show (it isn’t?), this would be about the time in the season for each contestant to undergo a style makeover. It’s too late to change who they fundamentally are, but not too late for some touch-up work. Here are my guesses as to what each campaign is working on behind the scenes:
Biden-Joe’s campaign is resisting it, but I think he should keep on growing the hair long. He’s the one senator who could get away with it.
Clinton-Hillary, in an attempt to shore up yet another key demographic, is probably working on an appearence on either SNL, Oprah, Family Guy, or Iron Chef.
Dodd-Team Dodd is busy studying tapes and reading newspaper articles about Howard Dean’s rise and fall in 2004. Say no more.
Edwards-John’s team followed Dodd’s team to the library.
Giuliani-Rudy is working on some sharp comeback answers to the inevitable questions he’s going to get about the New England Patriots come primary time.
Gravel-Mike is working on yelling less.
Huckabee-Mike is going to be going with the 5-o’clock shadow more often. Nice-guy preacher image contrasts well with rock-playin, un-shaven, tough guy on global terror.
Hunter-Duncan is thinking about running for Senator of Texas if this whole president thing doesn’t work out.
Keyes-Alan is practicing guitar, hoping to join Mike Huckabee and the Capitol Offense.
Kucinich-Dennis is working on trying to get people to think this is the first time he is running for president, not the third.
McCain-John’s camp is pushing for 24-7 TV debates, the forum where McCain shines.
Obama-Barack is getting some dancing lessons.
Paul-Ron is looking to take advantage of his huge Internet following and is examing if he can do a “mind-transfer” into the web, ala Max Headroom.
Richardson-Bill is, among other things, working on his cabinets.
Romney-Mitt is practicing a more “serious face” so it doesn’t look like he’s smirking when he’s talking about global jihad.
Tancredo-Tom is practicing his exit speech.
Thompson-Fred’s continuing to do the Rocky-style workouts, getting in shape for the 2-month dash.
